She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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