Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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