i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
