Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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