I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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