He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
