I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
