Where are you?
In a non slutty way
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
