His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You smell like stripper and shame
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
