If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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