I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
