They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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