She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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