you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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