I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
