The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
