I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
