I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
