I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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