I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Everything about him screamed your future.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
