love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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