I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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