I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
