My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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