Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
