grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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