Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
