So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
