I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize