Can Purell be used as lube?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
