Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
