So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
