dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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