I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
