You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
