He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
