ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
