I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
