he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
