I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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