I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
