Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
