I can text with my tongue
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize