I hope mine doesn't look like that
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
