DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
