1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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