I'm drive I can fine osifer
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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