Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
