There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
