im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
