i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
