That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
