next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
