U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
then he tried to convert me to islam
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize