My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
