how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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