considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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