okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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