I think I died a long time ago.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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